Ray's flashback

With a crooked smile, i wave back, hoping she won't noticed my fakeness. I don't want to hurt her. I'm not that kind of person. I never am.

Once she left and her sight was gone, i sighed and open the post box and took the letters in. I observed the letter carefully. I found lots of bills, poor mother she's been bearing this burden since he left us. I didn't took any tuition since tuition nowadays are very costly, it's enough. Although i never really got along with mom, i do love her and care for her, only that i didn't show or tell anyone about it. She cooked chicken breast with a few drops of lemon on top and broccoli and underneath it a lettuce and also mashed potato as the side dish and as for the drinks, just water. She won't let me touch coke, she's a nutritionist, she takes care of the diet well. Today's my cheat day, so, i'll have snickers, mars, boost, crunchie, kit kat and all the fattening stuff. Don't laugh, i'm being real, she won't find out, shhhh. I don't always have cheat day so when i do, i eat everything in sight, mostly desserts and pastry, i used to be this fatty kid in school people teased about.

Now, that i've grown into well i would say a pretty handsome young man, most girls go awww with me, it's annoying beatch but sometimes i like the attention. I'm pretty smart in my class, i always ends up as the top 3 smart students. Only the fact that i'm poor is what making the girls apart from me and i like that. First they awww,w then they eeewww. What i'm going to tell you is about a story which have made me become the me today.

Once upon a time, i was playing outside on a swing and suddenly i heard people's voice. They don't hear happy to me. I never knew what's angry, i never grew angry. I don't understand that feelings, i know sad, i know bad, i know happy, i know funny, i do not know anger. The voice came from my house, it was my mom and my dad, they were arguing, mom looks sad and dad looks fierce like a beast, i think he's upset but he's not crying or gloomy. When daddy's go out, i don't know where he's going but he left mommy alone, crying in her room. I don't want mommy to be sad, i want her to be happy so she could do things properly like making my breakfast and combing my hair and play with me. I knocked her door and came in and i just came and cuddle next to her, i was six and i still remember that.

I ask her what's wrong?, she said i'll never understand so i said

"Mommy, teach me then about it, i want to understand, i want to make mommy happy"
"You're not adults, i'm much better now, go to your room"
"But i want to"
"Just listen, no excuse, mommy's tired"

That's all she said and no more words. After that, it's always little conversation with her, i don't think it's a conversation anymore. Each day, i'm growing apart from her and i don't even know why?. I don't understand what happened, dad didn't come home that night, he never came back since then. All i keep asking in my mind is "where is he?" and i keep asking the same question to myself hoping i'll figure it out someday. Mom never told me what happened. No one could.

Labels: alone, fanfiction